And so my nightmares have come to life.
This freaking thesis project is eating up all of the bliss I have.
I knew it was goin to happen, still I tried.
I tried my best to not be a disappointment.
But now I am. I fell short.
I feel sorry for my thesis partner that I wasn't able to save ourselves from this misery.
Our lives seem like a bottomless chasm that the only way up is for us to go deep down.
I never anticipated that getting that stupid diploma will be so hard like this.
I studied really hard.
I worked hard for all the things I have achieved.
I worked fairly hard for this, as well.
But my efforts yielded no good result.
I want to say, it's okay, there's always a second chance.
But it's really hard to think that nothin have paid off.
I'm so sad.
This is the worst Christmas Gift I have ever received.
This is impossible.
I also feel very envious to my friends that managed to go beyond that tight needle hole.
I hate to sound too conceited but I know I gave more energy to this thesis project than them.
I guess, aiming too high has a downside.
I should have chosen the easier path (like they did) and shouldn't have taken a huge risk.
Risks only give you expectations and get you devastated when you fail.
I cried.
I cried so much that my eyes hurt.
I wanna stay strong.
I have faith in God.
Maybe, it's just not ours to have.
I know HE has greater plans for me and for everybody.
Good thing I have my family and friends.
They may not be always there beside me but I know they are THERE, just waiting for my call.
My parents would be upset but I guess, in the end...
Acceptance will raise it's hand and answer all the questions left unanswered.
I hope I didn't sound corny or a spoiled brat. I just wanna write what I feel.